how do you know?

at 17 years old, how do you know what you want to do for the rest of your life? and if you do, how do you know how to get there? unlike some lucky people who know that they want to be accountants upon graduating high school and decide to take up accountancy or who know they want to be architects and decide to take up architecture, i only knew that i wanted to be involved in the arts --- sketching, drawing, painting but that i wanted to have a 'stable' job. you know how they make you take up an aptitude and interest test before graduation? well, my interest was on the creative side but my aptitude lead to engineering. apparently, i was good at math and at being logical. it took me by surprise.

my mom wanted me to take up nursing but i knew in my mind that i could be greater so i asked if i can pursue medicine. it was impossible at that time because we couldn't afford it. my dad wanted me to take up accountancy because it was practical and that it would have what he took up when he was young, rather than taking up dentistry. taking up fine arts at that time was out of the question because my mom and dad feared that i couldn't get a 'stable' and high-paying job after graduation. with a confused state of mind, i took up computer engineering, trusting my aptitude results.

the first two years in college was actually enjoyable for me but on the the 3rd year, i immediately found out that it was never something i wanted to do after i graduate. we were already on the year where we had to pick majors and we were making projects dealing with electronics. i picked 'networking' to major on because well, i was on the internet most of the time and was very interested in web designing. i had two more years to go before i graduate college and it was too late to take up another course and waste my parent's money. so i pursued the course half-heartedly. i remember asking my mom one afternoon at church, "mom, what if i don't want to be a computer engineer? all i can picture myself is owning a boutique." my mom said, "well, that's what you can do after you earn enough money to start your own business."

on 2006 i graduated with a right to put up an 'Engr.' before my name. but here i am, fast forward to 2010, not a practicing engineer but i can finally tell my mom, "i am finally there mom. i am going to put up shop!"

knitted shirt dress - thrifted (have had this for 5 years!)

white tank top - metro kids' section (sequined by me)

brown leggings - random

brown platform heels - matthews at CMG

owl necklace - thrifted at carbon

rings: dark auburn stone - thrifted at carbon | black square - props

piles of bangles: faux gold plastic ones - gifted from india | wooden - props