06 June 2011

courage + acceptance

although summer was supposed to be the time for taking breaks, i hardly had the chance to because of the back pains from my spinal disc bulges + work + nonsense questions to myself + i don't know. so last saturday, the boyfriend and i took a much need break from everything and just disconnected ourselves from the world. i think it's definitely healthy to have those much-deserved alone time with each other and just have fun without worrying about anything else. 


now, you all know i've been feeling utterly disappointed at myself because i don't know exactly i want to do with my life and have been all over the place. i've realized though that it's just the fear talking and that i can take on anything i set myself to. everything happens for a reason and we just need to be courageous enough to accept it. of course, i need to make sure that i set my priorities straight. 

i've hated waking up for a routine everyday, whether it be school or work. even as a child, there wasn't a morning where i didn't drag myself out of my bed. i wanted to be in control of my time and didn't want to have to follow a certain schedule that constrained me. although i was scared as hell, i finally decided to take control of my time. i've decided to dedicate my full time on our wholesale business and have writing jobs on the side and that i'll now only be working part time for the advertising agency that i've been working for. so far, i'm on my 2nd week of this arrangement but i am loving every minute of it. i decide what time i attend work as long as it's 4-5 hours and i get to spend most of my day, in my room and writing or sorting out clothes, shoes and bags for my store and our wholesale business.

they say i might get bored with this arrangement. i fully understand that and recognize that someday, i might decide to find work that's structured or even decide to be a stay at home mom. it took me a great deal of courage to admit this but life is unpredictable. i am unpredictable and i don't know what's going to happen to my life or how to get to what i want in life.  but to hell with it, for now i'm gonna do what i enjoy and do what i want..RIGHT NOW!

printed mini-dress used as top - thrifted
white pleated skirt - thrifted
teal belt - robinson's dept store, dumaguete
nude suede wedges - gold dot
bangles: purple wood - bangkok find | orange polka resin - gifted | 
red coral - boracay find | pewter bangles - carbon finds
rings - bangkok finds

Image Map

19 comments:

Eden said...

ma, all i can say is, great post. you know i know what you're going through kay we talk about it all the time. ge lang hang on in there. im here ra pud if you need me:)

OI and nice photos x


xx
eden

Gillian Uang said...

I know what you mean! Everything will be better Gizelle! Can't wait to see you on Sat. :)

http://bydetails.blogspot.com

Jing said...

I feel you Gizelle!you put into words what ive been feeling for a long time now.hehe.cute outfit! :)

Y said...

cute outfit! Also, it's normal to be unsure about what you want in life. I'm still trying to figure out what im doing over the summer

DaMnViXeN said...

I remember my theology teacher back in freshman college. I was so wound up with some acquaintances that it reflected in my reflection write ups. You know what she wrote on red ink on my essay paper? She said that in whatever I do, I should always carry a discerning heart and nothing go wrong. took me awhile to interpret those words, but I know its about staying strong and assertive despite the challenge of fear, confusion and uncertainty.

I sense you have a strong discerning heart too! Carry on girlfriend!

Cylia said...

alone time is definitely needed here once in a while! good that you took the time to take some time off:)

Dianne said...

I feel you on this, I'm experiencing the exact same thing right now and often I get frustrated. It's definitely a lot easier when we were just kids.

Love your top btw :-)

candid phobic

Be said...

I'm so glad for you! I know its strange that I'm happy you're in a "whatever" stance but it's great because it means you'll only do things that make you happy.

P.S. I love those shoes :)

roanjean said...

I have a sort of similar set up and it's working well for me, too. Ok lang na, doing different things in a day keeps you stimulated, inspired and challenged in a good way. Dili boring. :)

Roan

Blithely Unaware said...

It sounds like you've made some good decisions.

What I don't understand is why do you keep saying summer is over?! I thought summer started on June the 1st in the Northern Hemisphere?!! I don't get it!? Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhy is the Philippines different??

Gessyl Enchanted said...

love the 3rd picture! :)

I don't like routines either, that's why putting up a business was a good decision on my part. I attend to it when I want to, but I actually attend to it everyday coz I love it that much. like 7am - 7pm jud ha! Well, its only been a year and 3 months, who knows I'd want something else in the near future. whatever the future brings, I 'm ready 'coz i love what im doing.

So go and do whatever makes you happy sangay. :)

Ann said...

Nice post Gizelle, I can totally relate, ^^ God Bless!

cherie said...

i love the totally feminine ensemble... and i think your shoes completed the look!

i totally agree with alone time with our special someone. for me, gives me a more positive outlook and vibe :)

Becky Regina said...

Get well soon! Love your outfit anyway, so love your top and shoes ;)

Cinderella's Closet said...

Your top is adorable! Its cool to not have everything figured out. I think it makes life all the more beautiful & fun when you just go with the flow and learn along the way.

xoxo

Cinderella's Closet NYC

LiezyL said...

oh wow, and i thought my life was hard. well get through this!

Gorgeous Clara said...

thanks a lot!

I´m constantly questioning myself if what I´m doing with my life is what I should be doing, and most of the time the answer is no, but as you say you need the courage to do other things and even more important you need to decide what you actually want to do, I'm still deciding...hahahaha.

SC said...

YES, great post. I love the way you write ... so recognizable. I have to stop thinking about my future. Depression is gasping in my neck :)

Lisa said...

I'm so happy for you--doing what you love and being to make your own schedule must be a dream come true :)

I've been feeling the same way about the whole 8-5 work routine. While it's really nice to have weekends off to spend with the husband, the thought of spending 4 decades or more trapped in a cubicle is too much to bear!

XO
A Fictional Blog

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